Whose Monkey Is This

Years ago I read two little books that had quite an impact on me: The One Minute Manager and The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey.

Funny how something you read decades ago can suddenly pop back into your head just when you need it.

The idea of the “monkey” was simple. Someone comes to you with a problem. You listen, offer to help and, before you know it, they walk away feeling much better.

Unfortunately, their monkey is now sitting on your shoulder.

I recognised myself immediately.

I’m a fixer. I like sorting things out. I’m also a bit of a control freak — in the nicest possible way — and historically I’ve definitely been a people pleaser.

Put those altogether and I’m very good at acquiring monkeys.

But I’m beginning to realise that constantly stepping in isn’t always helpful.

It might be quicker if I do it. I might know a better way. I might even do a better job.

But that doesn’t mean I should do it.

Helping someone doesn’t have to mean taking over. Sometimes the best thing I can do is listen, perhaps offer a little advice if asked, and leave the responsibility where it belongs.

So I’m resurrecting an old habit.

When the next problem lands in my lap and I feel that familiar urge to sort it out, I’m going to ask myself one simple question:

Whose monkey is this?