Because Homes Don't Run on Magic or Mum Alone

🏠 The Official House Rules

(a.k.a. How to Keep Mum from Losing the Plot)

Homes don’t run on magic — they run on teamwork, common sense, and the occasional eye roll. These “rules” are here for harmony, sanity, and a calmer everyday. 😇🙄

1. 🍽️ Dinner is served at 6:30 p.m. Not “whenever you drift in wondering what’s for tea.”
2. 🥛 Milk and bread don’t restock themselves. If you finish it, add it to the list. (Yes, that list.)
3. ⏱️ The 2-Minute Rule: If it takes under two minutes, just do it — empty milk cartons in the bin, coats hung up, random socks rehomed. 🙄
4. 🧺 Two-Minute Tidy: Evening reset = peaceful mornings. Remotes in the basket, shoes away, surfaces clear. 🧘‍♀️
5. 🛁 Bath mat etiquette: It’s not a rug. Fold lengthways and hang on the towel rail so it actually dries. 🫠
6. 🏡 Front-of-house policy: We live here — it’s not a car boot sale. Yellow bags, tools, and mystery bits go elsewhere. 🧤
7. 🔧 Greenhouse tools: Use it, return it. The Tool Fairy retired. 🪄
8. 🧽 Sink worktop: Not a dumping ground. If it doesn’t belong there, move it before I spontaneously combust. 🤯🔥
9. 🧾 Groceries (reprise): Running low? Add it to the list. Repetition intentional — some lessons take time. 🤦‍♀️
10. 💡 Suggestions welcome: Got a genius idea for smoother home life? Share away — as long as it doesn’t mean I do more. 😉

✨ Not hard rules — just gentle survival tactics to keep the peace and our sanity intact.

🙄🤔🤯🫠💪